Everybody has dreams they will pursue “one day.” One day I am going to start that business. One day I am going to take that dream vacation. One day I am going to lose weight and keep it off. One day I’m going to… ?
What is your “one day” dream?
The most difficult part about achieving a one day dream is determining when that “one day” will actually arrive. Because “one day” is not a day of the week and cannot be found on any calendar. Your “one day” does not exist anywhere except within the confines of your own mind. And what’s the problem with that? Your thoughts cannot always be trusted because as the great American author, Mark Twain said “I have had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
So the question arises, how do you know when one day has arrived for you?
Clearly it was not yesterday, but is it today your one day? Is it tomorrow? Could it be next week? Do you have to wait until next year? When will your one day arrive? In other words, what are you waiting for? What do you need to happen in your life for you to give yourself permission to ‘feel’ ready begin pursuing your dreams?
The following is an excerpt is a sample of a conversation I had with one of my students who was telling me about his dream to start his own business. He wanted to start running charters in which he took people deep sea fishing.
HaRu: “What are you waiting for to begin pursuing your dream?” I ask him.
Student: “Circumstances are not right.” He responds.
HaRu: “What circumstances are not right?” I inquire.
Student: “I do not have enough time. It will take a long time for me to achieve my dream,” he responds. And then he continues…
“I do not have enough money. It will take more money than I have for me to achieve my dream.”
“My children are too young. Young children require time, energy, and money, I cannot care for them and pursue my dream.”
“Work is difficult right now. If I do not have my job, I cannot support my family, I must work to support my family. I cannot quit my job because I will not make enough money pursuing my dream. Caring for my family is my greatest priority, and to care fo my family, I need to work. Between work and caring for my family, I cannot pursue my dream.”
… feeling satisified in his response, and justified in his rationale for waiting until “one day” to pursue his dream… he stops and looks at me to determine if I am as satisifed as he is with his own answer.
HaRu: I am not [satisifed]. Cutting through his bullshit, I ask “What are you afraid of?”
Student: With both a sense of resignation and relief, no longer feeling burdened by the weight of the excuses with which he has saddled his own mind, and with a deep sigh he responds “Failing.“
HaRu: Finally, the truth. Now I am satisified.
Imagine it was I asking you these questions, do the answers sound familiar to you? Are they excuses with which you have burdened your own mind? What excuses are you telling yourself why you must wait to begin pursuing your dreams?
Who says you have to wait until your kids reach a certain age to begin your business?
Why do you need to wait until things are “less hectic” with work to begin taking care of your health?
Who says that there is a minimum amount of money, intelligence, or resources you need to begin any endeavor?
These are not rules of life, they just are excuses you are using to avoid living.
The very logical ‘reasons’ your mind gives you as to why today is NOT the day to begin pursuing your dreams are nothing but the result of a very clever procrastination technique being employed by your own ego. Your ego is like the chocolate shell of an ice cream bar trying to protect what’s inside, which in this case is your greatest fear… failure. But not just any failure, failure through action. Your ego skillfully avoids acknowledging that you’re already failing and that failure through inaction is more damning than failure through action could ever be. Taking action is the quickest way to destroy the ego and make progress in your life.
The excuses and justifications you have as to why today is not the day to begin pursuing your dreams is just your ego trying to protect itself from annihilation through action. – HaRu
Your fear of failure is both irrational and illogical because you’re already failing. But you are failing in such a manner that your ego remains in tact, because it is failure through inaction and avoidance rather than failure through directed action through pursuit (which is the death of the ego). And having personally been on both sides of failure, failure through inaction is far more damaging than failure through action could ever be.
Think of it this way, when is the last time you admired someone for NOT pursuing their dream?
How do you know when your “one day” has arrived?
I have a secret to tell you… I am not just a mind hacker and mental physicist who teaches individuals like you to how to use their minds more effectively to achieve their tangible dreams (like losing weight), I am also a genie. My genie power is that I can empower you so that you will instantly become capable of achieving your dreams.
If you are interested in receiving this power from me, all you need to do is right now answer this simple question “What is your one day dream?”
Do you have the answer in your mind? Good…
I have used my powers on you, and you are now capable of achieving your dream. How do you feel?
Do you feel any different? Do you feel more capable or more empowered your dreams?
You probably think this is a bad joke, right? It is not. Because this is the secret to achieving your dreams. How you feel right now, in this moment, is exactly how you’re going to feel when your “one day” finally arrives.
The “one day” you have been waiting for is a day just like today, no different from any other. Your life is just as hectic, you are just as busy, and circumstances are still not perfect. “One day” is a day just like today, no different from yesterday. The only difference between yesterday and “one day” is that when one day arrives when you will make the decision that you are have procrastinated long enough and that today is day you are going to begin begin pursuing your dreams. That’s it. That’s the secret. And that’s where your journey begins. This is where your journey begins. Today is when your journey begins.
“One day” will feel no different from today, so why not make today your “one day?” Why not decide within yourself that today you are going to begin pursuing your dreams? Not achieve them, but only begin pursuing them.
You may doubt the validity of my genie powers and think that you are no more capable today than you were yesterday of achieving your dreams. And that is fine if you want to assume that (even though my genie feelings are hurt by you doubting my powers). But let us go ahead and assume you are no more capable today than you were yesterday. How do you know were not already capable of achieving your dreams yesterday? How do you know you’re not capable of achieving your dreams if you have not even tried yet? The truth is you don’t.
Until you begin taking directed action, you have no idea of what you are and are not capable of achieving.
Being capable of doing something does not mean it is going to be easy, or even quick.
Being capable of doing something does not mean you will fail many, many, times along the way (spoiler alert: you will).
Being capable of doing something simply means that you are capable of taking some action in the direction of your dreams today.
Being capable does not require you to already know how you are going to reach your dream.
Being capable does not require you to already know all of the answers to all of the questions, or to have all of the resources you need to reach your goal.
Being capable simply means is that today you can and will take whatever action, whatever some small step in the direction of your dreams that you are capable of taking today. And tomorrow you do will do the same thing. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, until you succeed.
You are capable of achieving your dreams.
In the words of one of the most prolific inventors in history, Thomas Edison, “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”
Now is the time for you to astound yourself. Today is your “one day.” Make the decision to begin today. Because every day you choose avoidance over action, every day you choose to believe in the truth of your excuses over the truth of your capabilities, you are settling for less than you deserve.
What’s the best way to stop making excuses and start action today?
If you are worried that pursuing your dreams is going to be difficult, I must ask you, is failure really so easy? I have been on both sides of the fence. I have failed through inaction, as well as action. I wasted decades of my life being a “one day” dreamer. But then I learned how to retrain my mind, how to reinvent myself, how to let go of my excuses and begin executing on my ideas. I learned how to fail through directed action.
What is the only thing more difficult than pursuing your dreams? Not pursuing them. – HaRu
And I must admit, both sides have their own unique challenges. But I every single day of the week, and twice today, I choose failure through action over failure through inaction.
Because failure through action is called learning, and learning leads to competency, and competency leads to expertise, and expertise leads to success.
It is far, far easier to continue pushing yourself to ever increasing heights of success and fail forward than it is to continue trying to suppress yourself from living out your dreams and failing backwards or making no progress at all. Unlike failure through inaction, growth (i.e., failure through action) actually becomes easier and more enjoyable with repetition. As you gain moment, you begin to become addicted to the learning, to the failing, and that is how you become a master. “The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” – Stephen McCranie.
Do you ever feel like life is going against you? It is not. That feeling of resistance you feel is actually you working against yourself. Stop standing in your own way and begin taking action. Get rid of your “one day” mentality because “one day” does not exist, and if it does, make today your “one day.” Because otherwise your “one day” will never come so long as you continue to cling to the safety of the excuses with which your ego has been “protecting” you. Your ego protects you from through action, all the while steadily draining you through from failure from inaction. Failure through inaction is death by a thousand paper cuts.
What is a better strategy? How can you get yourself to begin taking action? Simple. Stop trying to succeed.
Your avoidance of action is due to your fear of failure through action (through you are clearly quite comfortable continuing to fail through inaction). So the solution is simply to stop trying to succeed. This does not mean to give up on your dream, I would never suggest such blasphemy. Rather, do not try and build a successful business, instead set your new goal to build an unsuccessful business. Even if you area not capable of building a successful business, you are certainly capable of building a successful one, correct? Of course you are! And how much pressure is there to be able to ‘try’ to build an unsuccessful business? None. It’s easy, and the best part is you can take action on it today.
You may protest and proclaim “but I do not want to build an unsuccessful business, I want to build a successful one.” And I will respond “If you believe you are capable of building a successful business, build a successful one. If however, you do not believe yourself capable of building a successful business, build an unsuccessful one, and learn from your failures.” What is the point? The point is to learn how do you get yourself to take action? The same is true with building business as it is in losing weight. You may not be able to get a flat stomach tomorrow, but you can begin taking action today.
Don’t try and be phenomenal tomorrow. How about you set a more realistic goal of being less mediocre in whatever skills you need to achieve this new endeavor than you are today? That’s doable for you, right.
I know setting a lower goal sounds counter-intuitive, at first, but that is how your mind works. You need to find ways to transcend your ego and take action. Because taking action necessarily implies the death of the ego.
Learn to take away the resistance and give yourself permission to make mistakes. Allow yourself to the freedom to fail through directed action. Because failing through action is the predecessor to succeeding through action.
“Failure through action is the predecessor of succeeding through action” – HaRu
Did you learn to read overnight? No.
Did you learn to spell and write in a single day? No.
(And if you are like most people are you are probably still a terrible speller today, but for the saving grace of word processors and so no one is the wiser…but I digress).
Did you learn to walk without falling? No, of course not! What happened when you fell down, bumped your head, hurt yourself, and began crying? At some point you stopped crying, you got back up, and you tried again. You took more action. You failed through action. And what happened?
What happened is that you began getting better. You began falling down less and less, and with practice, you made fewer and fewer mistakes. Why is that? It is because you failed through action. You failed your way to success. Failure through action is called experience. Experience is the prerequisite for success in any endeavor.
Success begins with failure through action. Failure through action begins with allowing yourself the freedom to succeed. Allowing yourself the freedom to succeed begins with deciding that today is the day you will begin pursuing your dreams. Decide today is your “one day.” And then take action. Fail quickly. Fail often, and do not stop failing until you succeed. All the while focus on on improving your action, because when you do, your success takes care of itself.
Today is your “one day.”
Inspired by: Elon Musk has better things to do than run Tesla